Power and control are strange bed fellows. Power can take up more room, but control has the last word.
When life happens or others use power, we can feel out of control, helpless. When we are in our power, we feel like winners on a podium. Power is loud. And like a game of tag, who has it matters, but being it is not the best. If you’re it, you chase. When you’re not it, you choose where to go.
It’s all about control. Called Locus (or place) of Control, our thoughts put us in an external or internal position. External thinkers focus on what they can’t do and the power of others. Internals see their options and believe they can alter, or control, most outcomes. Of course, in the short run, others may really call the shots. A boss calls you for a second shift; a family member needs you to drop everything and help. But a “no” or a compromise is an option.
Life happens. Sometimes to us; sometimes we make it. For internals, it’s about getting to the making, and they have tools to do the job. They play with time: if the present looks dark, they focus on down the road. They also rerun winning games by recalling past successes. And most powerful of all, they use a positive self-fulfilling prophecy. That crystal ball movie in their heads comes complete with loads of controlled action scenes, positive feelings, and a great ending!
In brief …
Bertha Calloway, American historian (1925 – 2017), gave us some profound advice on charting our life course.
“We cannot direct the wind,
but we can adjust the sails.”